How’s everyone? LOL. It’s been like forever since I last posted my last blog eh?
Many things happened…and at the moment I’m deeply hurt. It’s a fucking long story and I don’t know if I feel like typing it out.
Anyway, was just thinking, I always have faith in all those who are close to me and that I trust. If anyone (close to me of cos) made a mistake and I think I want to give them a chance, people keep telling me that they won’t change…but I believe they will and they can. I’m just afraid that people will start abusing my faith.
I’ve got something to say to this particular someone…
People will promise things, and swear they'll be true,
don't always fool yourself,
like all the others do......
I have been guilty thinking, this was a dream,
when all of the time it wasn't quite what it seemed.
Part of my memories belong to you
Remember half of your friends are mine.
But can you tell me...
Where do I go, what do I do
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear, there are no more tears for me to cry
Now it's time that I said my last goodbye.
From time to time, I hear them whisper your name,
Just when I think I'm over you,
It brings it all back again
I hope you're happy with the choices you've made
YOUR LOVE WAS A GAMBLE, THAT'S THE PRICE I PAID
But half of my heart still wants you back
Remember part of your life was mine
I hope you'll regret it, letting me go
Now it's time to say goodbye
I've got no more tears to cry
There's something that I've got to know.....
I have all the faith that you can be a better person if you know your mistakes. What I still don’t get is that you don’t wanna admit your mistakes when you know very well I will forgive you. Why is it so hard for you to admit that you make mistakes? Even God make mistakes… you’re only human… don’t come telling me you don’t! Be frank to yourself. I might be many years younger than you, but do you know that I could have experience something in life that you haven’t before? Or that I know something better than you? Why do you always have to be the best of the best? Why do you have to put people down? What have I done to you that you wanna treat me this way? I still don’t get it. You’ve got the kindest and most caring heart I’ve ever known why do you wanna waste it with that fucking egoism you have in you? You know very well I’ve known your mistakes…do you want me to pin-point it and put it right in front of your face to get you to admit it? I’m trying my very best to get this right to make you understand but everything fails and all you know to say and do is to disown me… and leave me… and being the elder person you are…you sound really immature…do you know that? I really don’t know what else to do…I’ve admitted all my mistakes and I don’t understand why can’t you? Until now, my conscience keep asking questions I can’t find the answers to. I’m deeply hurt… My heart is like this glass…all broken and shattered…so many times before…and it’s been glued back…but still the crack lines are very visible and definitely very obvious… why do you have to crash it all again? Don’t you know it take like forever for it to be mend again? And there you go promising me that no matter what I do you will forgive me and never leave me and will always be there for me…and I trusted you…and this is what I get…what I deserve?
Even with all those hurt you gave me and all but every time I hear your name the first thing that comes to mind is all the good memories; they fill my thoughts…but for you it’s the opposite…you only have 1 thing in mind…the mistake I made…that fucking few seconds that I didn’t trust you…because you told me something that now you said…was a fake…what is all that suppose to mean? You return me all the things I once gave you… indirectly telling me that you don’t wanna remember me…and all the stuff that I once did…was not remembered…and will forever be forgotten…my disappointment in you…
I go around everyday…wearing a mask…showing and telling people I’m strong and ok…but deep inside…I’m hurt…the pain is unbearable…the worst gamble I’ve ever come across withàYour love…….(YOU fill in the blanks)
Don’t get me wrong... the person above doesn’t refer to my other half…infect I don’t have any other half…I’m me and only me…but I have close friends and some are so close I treat them like my own siblings…and there they go…crashing my heart…till the very last blood drip....
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