The weather seems a little uncertain itself at the moment. Can't seem to know whether to rain or shine so yeah it's been cloudy these days and it's definitely not making any good to my mood or giving me any inspriration. So well, yeah I'm pretty much bummed at the moment.
Watched the movie The Devil Wears Prada...wow...the sarcaism in it...WHOA! Fantastic! Haha. I'm going to get the DVD and watch it again and again... well, I've to wait till I'm done with my assignments and stuff first.
I'm just thinking about how boring my life is. I mean I'm living here in the Oasis and as all of you know the only way I socialize my life is trough this screen I'm looking at now. It's sad, isn't it? I really want to hang out with my friends and gossip till the cows come home but then again it's so far... I don't know I'm starting to miss my friends over at VM and as always you can't have the best of both world right? I'm feeling like I'm locked up in this fucking chamber and all alone...sometimes I wish I had someone living with me and that everyday I wake up there's someone out there doing something or if I'm not awake he/she would just push me off the bed so I'll get up! I miss having someone to live with...being all alone is really...lonely... I know I have Nala but then again she's not Russ. She doesn't answer me when I'm at the door or tag along where ever I go. I don't know but this feeling of loneliness doesn't seem to be fading and it never had ever since I stayed here.
I feel like I have nothing else better to do with my life then to just sit around in this apartment and do my assignments... I don't know but I'm not feeling any good about it and I don't know how long will I have to stay here and where else can I stay? I hate moving and it's really crappy...I had to move here al by myself the last time and no one helped me at all and the fact that I was down with a fever and flu...didn't make it any better.
Plus the fact that I don't have many true friends...and I don't know if I ever have any...I don't know maybe it's me...I think I have a problem that everyone seems to distance themself away from me but then again I find it hard to connect with others, probably it's because I''m afraid that I don't fit in or the other part of me cared too much about what people think which in turn causes me to distance myself from them...
Maybe it's because I'm itimidated by so many people and I don't know if I'm good enough for this world. Heck I don't even know what I'm good at or what and why I'm here and the world is definitely one scary place to be in and all alone....but then again my angels keep telling me this:
I know that you're searching for answers,
Afraid that you'll be left behind,
But you can't rush time,
Got to wait in line,
In time the answers you'll find
You'll get your wings at the right time,
Even birds must learn how to fly,
You gotta move on from whats breaking you heart,
Don't let you life pass you by.
I know that you're scared of failing,
But you can't succeed if you dont try,
To see what I do,
I believe in you,
And soon your wings will take flight.
Sunshine always follows the rain,
Happiness always follows the pain,
Let's never look back and learn from the past,
Heart and soul is all you need.
Taking the journey,
Enjoying the ride,
Be true to yourself,
Let your heart be your guide.
At least this keeps me motivated right? =)
I guess I'll have to live with it for another month and then I can work on worrying about my future then. I just hope I can go to Penang I miss that concrete island so much! I don't know why maybe it's the beach and the food and the fact that I spend half my childhood life there.
Suddenly I'm so enthusiate with my design! Haha okies while I still am in this mode I wanna start on my work...will post again soon when I have then time...
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