It's been a while huh? so what's up with me....well, nothing much...as usual but well, here goes.
For the first month of the new year...so far so good. Ok remember, I'm not complaining or anything ok...so please don't get me wrong...
Let start with the good stuff first...I've started working...and yes with the same company...how is it? Loving it...learn a lot and have really nice work mates...though I only get RM 1100 a month...which I'm trying my best to figure out how to survive with that much of money... probably have to start looking for freelances...anything would do... yes now i feel the uneasiness of earning money...and working like hell...tell me about it.
Yes I miss college....ALOT...still trying to find time to go to Next Generation...where I can look on the next university I can afford to go and get my degree...want somewhere in the UK....but will have to settle for AUS if I can't...so wish me luck...
Had a great time in KK, Sabah...though I wanna apologise for my un-well being when I was there...I'm still wondering how my being loud is a huge problem...if only i could duplicate myself and see how i react... I love myself...but unfortunately alot of them out there hate it...oh well, who cares...to hell with them if they can't handle me rite?
What's bothering me? Honestly...someone...someone who i have something about...something unexplanable...something I don't understand myself...someone who make me confuse about my feelings...someone who I think I'm starting to like more than just a friend...love? I don't think so. I'm not quite there yet... Isn't it weird that sometimes or somehow this happen? You promise yourself that u'll never indulge in anything like that anymore after what happen to you before yet u do it without realising it or you did but you still go for it....it's really crappy...and fuck! Damn it hurts... really bad. TO be wishing for something you will never get... sad isn't it? just a hug...that's all i ever ask for...basically I fell like I want someone to care...hahahahah...nvm me...i'm just being silly....always leading myself into something i know what it will result to...and then dwell on it...somebody kill me please.... Ahh well, probably i'm just not good enough...
Graduating tmr...can you believe it? Neither can i...parents and Peej will be coming...after so much or persuasion....sad isn't it that u have to beg and ask for someone to actually attend something u think meant so much...and again probably i'm not worth it. Is it ever possible for someone you love or like to feel the same way or at least even a little bit?
Sigh....I wish I can do a whole lot better that what I'm doing right now...I have so much to learn yet so little time...Life....is an adventure...a huge maze...it's all about making decisions on which route to take...and what you meet along the way...weird isn't it...how it works...there's rules...but it only applies to certain stages and way...the rest is all up to how u think and handle...it's all about ur mind...
All I can think about is him....I can't write...can't think...can't work...basically...I'm doomed...this will take time...and fuck it...I don't know how long...it's the longest ever hang over!! not from alcohol...but......u noe what i mean...till then...wish me luck...
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