Stressed...

With working 5 days a week, trying to search for a place to move in London and house chores piling up on the to do list, I can say goodbye to sleeping in and me time. Having to travel up and down London from Aylesbury takes up most of my time and sucks up my little left over energy I have after work. By the time I get home I’m pretty tired. I am still in need of a place to rent!!

I don’t know what’s going wrong. But it seems like looking for a right place to live in London is impossible. It is weird how I always get denied last minute. Is this a sign that I will have to live in a place where I wouldn’t be happy or is it because I’m not worth it? It makes me question my hard work in life. I always wonder how my dad or anyone his generation manage to make it. I’m starting to think that the world is a sexist place because I don’t seem to be able to make it anywhere! I know I shouldn’t complain as things could have been worse off but it feels so shit to be so near yet so far.

I don’t know why its so hard to find a place here. In Malaysia, landlords are waiting for calls from tenants! Here, it’s the opposite, first come first serve and the property put in the market today can be gone the next day! What’s with Londoners? They move every other month?? (-__-)||| Its either that or they are racist, not wanting to rent to me 1) Because I’m Chinese or 2) I’m holding a Malaysian passport *with the current possibility of terrorist attack, holding a Muslim country passport is at no benefit at all* or it could be 3) I’m not local…

I’m starting to feel the stress taking a toll and that my weekends are all gone to searching for more properties to rent. It seems like a never ending process!! Each time I get denied off a property it knocks my confidence level down an inch. I have no time for myself for over 2 weeks now and the lack of sleep sure ain’t helping at all. I yearn for a day that I could just sleep in! Maybe is a sign of aging! I remember the nights and days that I don’t even need any sleep trying my best to finish up my assignments. Live can pretty unfair sometimes. But no matter what comes my way, I will never give up…I’ve worked so hard and I’ve come this far I will kick myself if I decided that this is it…innit?

At least its Friday today. This week sure did fly by but my weekend is already full with plans to search for a place to rent…guess its no rest for the wicked eh?