Rendering taking forever....bored...can't do nuts...
So my mind is wondering about...and I realised something. When you grow up, it is hard to make friends. How many friends do you have? Like REALLY close friends? I can tell you I have a few...I can count them using my fingers itself. But then again how much do I know my friends? How much do they know about it? Will I ever have a friend who knows me in and out and outside in? Who will BE with me like forever? I guess the answer is no. Probably because as you grow up your path are different and somehow you go your own way while your friends go theirs. Good friends might make ways to meet up, catch up and stuff but its never ever the same is it? Its not like school time where you see each other literally everyday. Probably can't stand each other too. Whats the conclusion? I miss my school days. Where I only had to worry about school work and tuitions and classes and exams. That alone at that point of time was quite a big responsibility already. As much as I hated exams, studying for subjects that wouldn't make a difference in life, I definitely enjoyed my friends. Remember how you can't wait for the holidays and then 1 week through holidays you can't wait to go back to school to meet up with friends? I remember I did. I missed my friends sooo much!!
My dad moved around a lot when I was young. So I studied in a lot of kindis and school. What I remember is:
1. Tinkerbell Kindergarten, Subang
2. St. Monica, Sandakan
3. Some kindi I can't rememver in Sandakan
4. Lady Bird Kindergarten, Penang
5. Convent Pulau Tikus, Penang
6. Convent Infant Jesus 1, Melaka
7. Infant Jesus Convent, Melaka
Kindergarten was nice..I remember performing as a fairy in Tinkerbell. I remember I had a best friend in St.Monica called Sarah. More memories in Lady Bird. Miss Pauline my teacher... knowing I was best in math in class...hahaha. After kindi, CPT was great!!! I love it there...why? Cos I was queen bee...shocking! I can't believe it myself. Why was everyone trying to be my friend?? Why was I mean?? Honestly?? I don't have the answer...I have no clue at all! I had sooo many friends!! Its unbelievable..but I left cos my dad had to move to Melaka. Then it was a 180 degrees turn towards my social life in school. I had NO friends. People only spoke Mandarin which I had no clue at all what it is...sad?? Definitely. But I met my best friend Hwa Lii then and we went through so much together...fall out for a year got back again...lol...memories will remain forever! =) I miss school life!
After school, I went to college. College was EVEN better!! So much to see so much to adventure! Ohh I miss you Bellie! Life is sooo great in college with you! Hahahaha. Sigh, its all so different now. I'm soooo alone and so sad. I miss the time when I can just go into your room sit and chat forever! Go shopping, dinner and all that! I wish things wouldn't change!
Life is much harder as you age...you gotta learn how to do EVERYTHING yourself. I always wish I had a sister to look up upon. Unfortunately I had none. I wish I had a grandfather who is wise and would tell me what is this world like. What has this world gotta offer? I'm really scared. My life is like a maze....walking taking routes I never know what it holds for me... Its not like a game where you lose life points and start over...Every choice I make is permanent and has a permanent affect. But one ting for sure is that every person I met along my journey left something behind...something that makes me remember them for life.
I now realised that I have to learn how to accept changes and adapt to them and make the best out of it because however much I try to change them back it will not happen. I also found out that I can NEVER have that closeness with a friend like how I used to anymore as I grow up and things changes. All I can do is appreciate what I have while I still have it.... =)
I remembered how much I wanted to grow up now I wish I was younger...lol. Its soooo typical isn't it? Even now I wish I was older and my financial was stable, I have a job .... but then now I think and I realised...hey... if I was given the chance.... I want to stay young forever and ever...but one thing for sure... I will NEVER stop being who I am... I'm funny, I'm loud, I love playing around joking even if its lame... I laugh I climb trees!! These are the things that make me young and always will... I will never stop doing them! =D
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