I woke up this morning and realised that I had been sleeping too much....a better word to describe it was that I overslept! Anyway, my eyes were itching like mad the night before and my tummy was aching...probably due to the tea I've been taking. But I can't help it. I love tea so much and it was one of the thing that coud keep me awake. It was 5 am when I woke up...I was still tired though so I went back to bed. Then I decided that I would skip class....WHAT? Me Skip class?? Yeah it sounds weird isn't it for me to skip a class...I hardly skipped any unless there was a seriously good reason. Like when I was in high school my mom had to forced me to stay at home and even black mail me if I don't so that certain something I wasn't allowed to go to school the next day...but well my eyes were swallon due to the rubbing and crying I had the night before.
The next thing I knew was I woke up at about 9 and my mom called...It was nice to hear her but I wished I didn't. Because all she talked about was bad news...nothing was good to hear at all...first she told me one of my relative passed away. SHIT! I hate to hear her say that it's like the 5th time ever since I came here to study I've been getting premonition about people dying and it's true...NONE of it didn't came true...ALL of it CAME TRUE! I hate it! Because I feel like I'm to blame for their death...I could have done something so that they don't die right? But all I did was to cry over it and do nothing about it! I just hate it...why do I have to have premonitions about it?? WHY ME? I just wished I didn't...=(
Then the other bad news was that my mom sent the maid back. My aunt from hong kong lost about 5000 bucks the last time she came over to stay and couldn't find it after she left...so she accused the maid of stealling...I can't say that I know my maid well but I feel pity for her...I put myself in her shoe...working like mad and only earning like 380 bucks a month!! and there's no holiday!! and u have to leave ur family to come and work for another family...so far away from home. and now she was accused of stealling when I don't think she did...But if she did...she probably did that cos of desperity right? But then again...I just wished I was able to say good bye....the last time I saw her I didn't managed to say good bye as well...I just feel so...I dunno how to explain but i feel pain and i feel like I wanna cry...It's like i can feel how she's feeling...
Now my mom will have to do all the housework herself and my little darlings were not allowed to stay in-doors anymore! Poor little babies...I'm sure they miss me alot...I saw a little retriever yesterday in a pet store...I was so happy to carry it...it was so nice and cuddly...after some time I had to give it back and it had to go back to the cage...the poor little thing was crying and crying...it feels so hard to leave him there...I wish I could work there and love them all...they seem so lack of love...thinking about it is just so sad...
then again I told myself that I had my own problems to think about like my assignments which I had to finished yet I haven't done much about it...I just don't have the mood to do anything...just this few things...bugged me badly...and the fact that I can't run to my mom because she's facing problem of her own and I didn't want to at any to it and my friends...I don't think any of them will understand...my god brother is too busy I don't want to bother him too...I just have to practise to be alone...stand alone and face everything alone...it's hard but somehow or somewhat I have to face all these things on my own from now on...it's somehow being independent...right? or am I wrong...
Anyway, I went to see the doctor just now and she said that I'm allergic to the dust around me and I had not enough sleep...gave me some medication and really nice of her to give me MC. I didn't have to ask for it. Sigh...I wish I had someone here to rely on...but i really don't want to trouble anyone with my problem...
I guess that's all for now...will blog again some other time...
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