The Imaginarium Movement

A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane but
I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone,
You can write it in a letter,
either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find...

My head's spinning
Boy, I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate
I'll take a shower,
I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned.

Vexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong.
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah,
you got me feeling really bad

Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right

I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more
I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be.
Free from pain - going insane
My heart aches...

This, I dedicate to those who are in my mind at the moment. Those who kept my mind thinking and working non-stop. Trying to figure out the answers...it's getting me going insane! I sincerely dedicate this to my dad, my elder brother, my friends who now ignore me, and to those who hate me and also to God.

I know you might be wondering why all of a sudden I'm all so sad and down. I've been actually all along deep inside me but I just didn't want to show it out. Now, I can't take it any longer, if I don't say something I'll burst into flames and burn myself up and soon I will die. I'm so sorry to say this but I can't hold back any longer.

Dad, if you keep yelling and don't wanna give in. I seriously don't know what more to do or say. Hearing you shouting at mom, PJ, PR, and my doggies is like hell to me. You do shout and yell at me too but I know I deserve it. It's probably the stress you're having or maybe your love for the family is fading away. I really wish I could tell you this in person but I'm too coward and I haven't collect enough confidance to do so. What is it that the family owe you? What have we got to do to you to be able for you to treat us nice? Do we have to beg on our knees? I've tried my very best to be nice to you but I guess I've not try hard enough.

PR, how many times do I have to tell you that the things you do are so very wrong and that you are not allowed to repeat it again? Why do you have to give empty promises? Do you know you're baptised and that you are already a Christian? Which means giving empty promises is a big sin! In fact whatever you had done the pass is a BIGGER sin. You keep saying that you can;t help it. This is just plain BULLSHIT and you know yourself that you know what is right and what is wrong. Living with you is like living on the streets where anything can happen to you anytime. It's DANGEROUS. I really don't want to say it here what you've done in the pass not only to me but to many other people. I keep praying so that you will learn and will keep your promises but my prayers never seem to be working.

To my friends who ignores me now and to those who hates me. I hope that you guys will tell why and what have I done wrong. The fact that I'm being ignored and hated is driving me nuts. But I know that I can't get the whole world to like me. In fact I'm not likable. But it will be greatly appreciated if you could let me know what I've done wrong to you.

Dear God,
I'm sick and tired of all the dreams and visions. Why do I have to get them? and the worst of all why does it all have to come true?!! Why me? You give me versions of people dying all the time! And it all came true! First, my friend's father, then my other friend's father, then my friend's brother, and now my best friend's grandfather?? The feeling of being so useless at time like this...knowing that someone is going to die but there's NOTHING I can do to stop it. I don't want any of this visions anymore or even the dreams! I don't want to be so useless. I'm already useless enough! Please someone or anyone help me. I'm so afraid of sleeping everynight. I'm so afraid that I'll dream again or have another visions of someone else dying. It's so scary that I cry everynight.

Why has it got to be me? I can see ghost? Now I'm having visions of people dying? What's next? Having the intuition that something bad is happening or going to happen to my family or friends but I can't do anything to let them know? It hurts, really hurts.

Angels, it's been quite some time since the last time I sent all of you out to do some duties. Now I'll send you all again. The world needs you people more than I do. So please do me a favor. I've promise Vic that I'll send one of you to guard and guide his grandmother and another to make sure his grandfather rest in peace and being able to find the light that leads him to Heaven. At the moment I want the rest of you to sprinkle peace and love dust around the world and to make sure all are in good health and happy. Make sure that all my love ones, my cousins and family are well. If they are not do stay with them for a few days and see what you can do to help. Don't worry about me. I can handle myself at the moment. Please also do drop by and see God and please let him know that I don't want anymore people to die. Especially those innocent and still deserve to live longer. I'd enough of visions and also dead people. In fact this world need more angels like all of you. =) Unfortunately many have lost contact with their own guardian angels that made them vanished. Most still can and have the chance to safe them. If only they believe. Speard the love, the believe, the hope, and the joy angels. May God bless all of you and I'm here to appreciate everything that you all had done not only for me but for the world. So now my angels, fly away and do what you have to do...

Signing off with love, hope, joy, believe and sadness,
~Angel Girl~