KILL me somebody ANYONE! Have you ever feel like you're damn useless? Ok yeah talk about low self esteem. But what if i really am? Everything I say and do is ALWAYS wrong and no matter how hard I try to get it right it doesn't work. What? Am I THAT dumb? People as in friends keep telling me I'm not stupid, useless or dumb but when I ask them to tell me what have I ever done right before they can't answer me. I can't even understand a whole movie by just watching it once. I can't even say anything right!! How much worse can I get? Should I give up on myself? But I don't give up....but maybe I'm THAT bad that I have to? I'm so skrewed up! It's like nothing in this world can make me right again. I'm starting to hate myself even more each day!
I woke up with this sharp pain on my right side on my tummy. But it soon faded away and didn't come back. I'm afraid to tell my mom because she'll go bezerk about it and I don't want her to because CNY is just 2 days away. Besides the doctor is away and will only be back after next week. In fact the doctor might think I'm crazy if he finds out that there's nothing wrong with me again. He might sent me to a psychiatrist. Am I crazy? I'm insane? I'm probably right? I think I am.
I'm starting to feel like killing myself again after 2 years. I don't want to start that again! I'm starting to hate my life again but I'm trying very hard to go against it...
Anyway nothing happen today as usual. Only 1 thing. I found a nice place to play. My roof top =) I climbed over the balcony and realise I could walk one round to the other side of the house =) Interesting! That's it for today. The rest of the day I feel teribly bad about myself. ok I've gotta go clear my buffy eyes and stuffy nose.
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